I don't necessarily believe in the cosmic importance of the New Year's Eve anymore - it's just a date set by humanity for administrative purposes. But I can't help my urge to set resolutions, treat this new year like a new chance, new possibilities to be better, do better etc.
So I found myself thinking about what I want for myself for this new year (only for myself, I'm selfish that way; I understand that you're also supposed to wish things for your family and for the Universe; I just believe in self-control, how can I wish to control my family, much less the Universe? Ofcourse, I wish them only the best, but that's irrelevant; they have to want the wish in order for it to happen; moving on).
Diabetes takes up a lot from my resolutions. A lot. Like, 90 percent.
But it's also what makes most of my life nowadays, being merely a baby with diabetes (1 year on December 28th; present? Gary Scheiner's Think like a pancreas).
Just yesterday I was thinking that I would want to trust my abilities to control my diabetes better, to really trust my insulin to carb ratios and I was thinking that I could drop the 2 hours post meal tests, since I pay for these tests myself.
In the morning, my 2h post-breakfast is stellar, between 90 and 130. But that's just because it's slowly creeping to 140-150 before lunch. So I was thinking that I could drop that test, since it never tells me something new, and save some money. This morning my 2h test was 57.
It really is an ironic disease.
Going back to my resolutions, I still need to think about them, to organise them in neatly little bullets.
Obviously, they'll be the normal ones for people with diabetes: make better food choices, tighter control, more activity, yadda-yadda-yadda.
But they are already forcing me to have better numbers.